the lost soul.

` Evans Zaccheus
` 16 April 1988
` speedy_2088

the beginnings.
` archives

the blessed souls.
` chance
` joanna
` cheryl toh
` geraldine
` Lianglin
` kai sin
` nicole
` rachel
` weiqi


Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Haha.. so long never come here already. Brushing the dust off the blog.. Well.. prelims have been ok for me... Except for the hair-raising moments i had with some of the papers, over all its pretty fine. haha..

Well... Blogging is not really getting to me so hence my one in a blue-moon blog.. haha.. for more update, wait for the next blue moon.. haha..

`with a weeping heart.
4:50 AM


Sunday, June 18, 2006

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace
Where there is hatred let me sow love
Where there i injury, your pardon Lord
Where there is doubt, let there be faith.
Lord make me an instrument of thy peace
Where there's despair, let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, let there be light
Where there is sadness, let there be joy.
O divine Master,
grant that I may not seek to be consoled as to consoled,
to be understood as to understand
to be loved as to love.
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace
Where's despair, let me bring hope.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
for it is in giving that we receive
and it is in pardoning that we are pardoned
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Lord make me an instrument of thy peace.

Well, choir just read this song for one of our teacher's wedding.. The words coupled with the melody touched me very much, so much that i had the urge to share the lyrics here with anyone that by any chance come by this site.

`with a weeping heart.
1:12 AM


Monday, May 22, 2006

Feel like i am collapsing now.. Seem that i have over-committed myself.. Peers are enjoying their J2 life but i am slogging my life away.. Seems like i am living my life for what the world is perceiving to be good for me while my peers are enjoying their life away. Feeling rather depressed at everything is happening.. All my mentors are saying i have the potential while need to work hard at it but sadly i lack the time for everything.. I see my J2 life unlike my sec 4 life.. I hate sec 4 but i do not hate J2, just feel very stressed at trying to meet the standards of all my tutors and parent's expectations.. Though that i know that its good for me, i am hardly happy doing everything together.. i would be alot happier if i have less burdens.. Well, life is not so easy after all.. I WILL live life i like after As man... That would mean that i need to pass my nafar first.. Which currently i do not see it happening.. Haven been running for 4 months already.. 2.4 is this thursday.. Should hope that i can hit 12.40 min.. shouldnt be too ambitious..

My figure of respect is leaving the school.. yes, i am sad for her as she inspired me with the passion and discipline in my life.. no, i am glad for her that she could realize her long dream career. Good that she is leaving after i leave the choir.. haha.. maybe quite selfish for me.. sad..

Long time no blog liao.. Well, here's a little update on myself.. Bye..

`with a weeping heart.
6:04 AM


Thursday, December 29, 2005

Well... The hols are ending.. Here's a summary of what i did this past hols..
1. Have alot of choir practice and at the end of the caroling season never regretted joining acjcchoir
2. Dota alot and found out that 90% of the battlenet players are noob or semi-noobs cos i just pawn them too much.
3. Rot at home and find that i gained probably another 2 inches on my waist as i eat and eat and eat.
4. Went a trip to China and shopped my head off as i doubled my luggage capacity back.
5. Went towning and caught up with alot of friends and hot dates and such that my pocket is really having a big hole.

So ya... Thats probably what i did the last 7 weeks of break.. Well.. I needed all those i mentioned above as i am never probably getting all those above until after my As..

So now is mugging time as i aim to finish 90% of hmwk given by sunday midnight. Which is abit far-fetched.. LOL.. But i found out a way to maximise your capacity to do work.

1. On some Bach violin concertoes in the background while you do your work.. (Mozart will do as well) but pls do not try Beethoven.. Thats because you WILL get a shock especially if you listen to his symphonies.. Try doing Chem and having and unresolved chords for the entire 3 hours at the frequency of every 10 minutes.. You will be nuts before you finish your work.. Early music more straight forward..

2. Have a good pot of tea (First class Longjing is my favourite). Well, you gonna have something light to keep yourself awake as you trugde through the piles and piles of homework.. (English tea would do as well but i prefer to leave out the sugar and creamy for the sake of my weight and tummy :P)

3. Do when everyone is asleep.. Well, that saves you from nonsensical irritation from your neighbours, traffic, pets, siblings, parents that are menopausing and all the other rubbish and vices you can think of.. So, the best is keep yourself immersed in the 'love' of mugging..

So, thats all as what i can offer to my dear friends out there that are as desperate as me, trying to finish all thats given to you.. Well, k'mon we all can make it..

`with a weeping heart.
7:40 AM


Monday, November 28, 2005

Well.. When to attend service at KKMC last sunday.. Hm... their service is quite similar to that of my church than i think it is.. Well.. At least they tell the congregation about the liturgical year at the liturgical colour of that season. Their creed is exactly word for word of ours.. I thought it would be modified. Oh well.. Despite attending 2 service and listening to the sermon twice, i still when for my church's last mass.. It helped me to appreciate the service at my church better.. No offence to anyone but its my personal preferrence. The readings were more in tune with the season of Advent.. Though all the readings of the sunday were related, i found the first reading most impactful on me. Just listening to the reading made me teared throughout the responsarial psalm, i had control of my emotions then. Despite the terrible singing of the soloist of course.

Here goes Is63:15-19,64:12

Look down fron heaven and see, from your holy abd glorious habitation.
Where are your zeal and your might?
The yearning of your heart and your compassion?
They are withheld from me.
For you are our father, though Abraham does not know us and Israel does not acknowledge us; you, O lord. are our father; our Redeemer from of old is your name.
Why, O Lord, do you make us stray from your ways and harden our heart so that we do not fear you?
Turn back for the sake of your servants, for the sake of the tribes that are your heritage.
Your holy people took possession for a little while; but now our adversaries have trampled down your sanctuary. We long have been like those whom you do not rule, like those not called by your name.
O that you would tear down the heavens and come down, so that the mountains would quake at your presence- as when fire kindles bruxhwood abd the fire causes water to boil- to make your name known to your adversaries, so that the nations might tremble at your presence!
When you did awesome deeds tht we did not expect, you came down, the mountains quaked at your presence.
From ages past no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who works for those who wait for him.
You meet those who gladly do right, those who remember you in your ways.
But you were angry, and we sinned; because you hid your self we transgressed.
We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a filthy cloth.
We all fade like a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away.
There is no one who calls on your name, or attempts to take hold of you; for you have hidden your face from us, and have delivered us into the hand of our iniquity.
Yet O lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of you hand.
Do not be exceedingly angry, O Lord, and do not remember your iniquity forever.
Now consider, we are all your people.
Your holy cities have becone a wilderness, Zion has become a wilderness, Jerusalem a desolation.
Our holy and beautiful house, where our ancestors praised you, has been burned by fire, and all our pleasant places have become ruins.
After all this, will you restrain yourself, O Lord?
Will you keep silent, and ounish us so severly?

Hm...... after this long long verse, i hope you all see the point of this verse. I felt as tho i was part of Israel's mourning for the longing of God. I have strayed so far away from God this past year. Pls do not be like me..

`with a weeping heart.
8:05 AM


Tuesday, November 22, 2005

WAH!!!!! These few days at home really showed me how much i have or rather my parents have lapsed behind in terms of fashion sense and viewpoints.... Just had a debate with my dad abt what is the perfect haircut.. Seems like he is still into the old type of hair cut where sides are shaven and fringe are straight and there are no poking out things on my hair i.e(no spikes) sian... I just cant be bothered to listen to him.. Who is still rumbling behind me abt his hair cut experience now.. SiAN!!!! TMR is my free day at home.. YEAH!! can finally sleep late liao.. haha.. SIAN!!! i need to go out soon.. though i just went pepper lunch and swensens at orchard today.. haha..

`with a weeping heart.
8:35 AM


Thursday, November 10, 2005

Haha.. am in Roy's house blogging since he had to send glenn and phillip home.. Staying over tonight= no need to get nagging from mum at 8 am in the morning tmr.. haha..

Well.. Had a few shots of vodka and whiskey just now.. Lol.. nearly died as we played stacko w choice of vodka or whiskey.. had a taste of both and they sux.. still prefer my wine.. lol..

Today PW finally over.. ROARS!!!! I HATE PW!!! after spending decades on my ppt slides finally i can kick those things aside and enjoy life now.. haha..
Will get black and white2, AOE3 and maybe quake4 during these hols and spend the hols completing them..

Sometimes in life, many things are out of our control and hence many times we are dragged into situations that are out of our control.. Will we get blamed for things like that because we did not even attempt to fight it or will we just get over it and lead life as normal? Is God someone that will do that or will he account all your sins to you on judgement day? Who then can be worthy of his judgement as sinless in that case?? Sigh.. Tmr maybe the 3rd time in a row not going for RCIY due to alot of committments.. David Charles is singing tmr and tenors are going as a section to support him.. Which means i have to skip classes again.. First time for GY, Second for Roy, Third for David C.When will i ever go there for myself and God?? Sigh.. Haha.. anyway.. have to get back to gaming liao.. Cya soon..

`with a weeping heart.
9:52 AM


the believer.