evanszaccheus

Brushing the dust off the blog

2006-08-30T04:50:00.000-07:00

Haha.. so long never come here already. Brushing the dust off the blog.. Well.. prelims have been ok for me... Except for the hair-raising moments i had with some of the papers, over all its pretty fine. haha..

Well... Blogging is not really getting to me so hence my one in a blue-moon blog.. haha.. for more update, wait for the next blue moon.. haha..

Prayer of St Francis

2006-06-18T01:12:00.000-07:00

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace
Where there is hatred let me sow love
Where there i injury, your pardon Lord
Where there is doubt, let there be faith.
Lord make me an instrument of thy peace
Where there's despair, let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, let there be light
Where there is sadness, let there be joy.
O divine Master,
grant that I may not seek to be consoled as to consoled,
to be understood as to understand
to be loved as to love.
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace
Where's despair, let me bring hope.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
for it is in giving that we receive
and it is in pardoning that we are pardoned
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Lord make me an instrument of thy peace.
Amen.

Well, choir just read this song for one of our teacher's wedding.. The words coupled with the melody touched me very much, so much that i had the urge to share the lyrics here with anyone that by any chance come by this site.

snail-like

2006-05-22T06:04:00.000-07:00

Feel like i am collapsing now.. Seem that i have over-committed myself.. Peers are enjoying their J2 life but i am slogging my life away.. Seems like i am living my life for what the world is perceiving to be good for me while my peers are enjoying their life away. Feeling rather depressed at everything is happening.. All my mentors are saying i have the potential while need to work hard at it but sadly i lack the time for everything.. I see my J2 life unlike my sec 4 life.. I hate sec 4 but i do not hate J2, just feel very stressed at trying to meet the standards of all my tutors and parent's expectations.. Though that i know that its good for me, i am hardly happy doing everything together.. i would be alot happier if i have less burdens.. Well, life is not so easy after all.. I WILL live life i like after As man... That would mean that i need to pass my nafar first.. Which currently i do not see it happening.. Haven been running for 4 months already.. 2.4 is this thursday.. Should hope that i can hit 12.40 min.. shouldnt be too ambitious..

My figure of respect is leaving the school.. yes, i am sad for her as she inspired me with the passion and discipline in my life.. no, i am glad for her that she could realize her long dream career. Good that she is leaving after i leave the choir.. haha.. maybe quite selfish for me.. sad..

Long time no blog liao.. Well, here's a little update on myself.. Bye..

farewell my hols..

2005-12-29T07:40:00.000-08:00

Well... The hols are ending.. Here's a summary of what i did this past hols..
1. Have alot of choir practice and at the end of the caroling season never regretted joining acjcchoir
2. Dota alot and found out that 90% of the battlenet players are noob or semi-noobs cos i just pawn them too much.
3. Rot at home and find that i gained probably another 2 inches on my waist as i eat and eat and eat.
4. Went a trip to China and shopped my head off as i doubled my luggage capacity back.
5. Went towning and caught up with alot of friends and hot dates and such that my pocket is really having a big hole.

So ya... Thats probably what i did the last 7 weeks of break.. Well.. I needed all those i mentioned above as i am never probably getting all those above until after my As..

So now is mugging time as i aim to finish 90% of hmwk given by sunday midnight. Which is abit far-fetched.. LOL.. But i found out a way to maximise your capacity to do work.

1. On some Bach violin concertoes in the background while you do your work.. (Mozart will do as well) but pls do not try Beethoven.. Thats because you WILL get a shock especially if you listen to his symphonies.. Try doing Chem and having and unresolved chords for the entire 3 hours at the frequency of every 10 minutes.. You will be nuts before you finish your work.. Early music more straight forward..

2. Have a good pot of tea (First class Longjing is my favourite). Well, you gonna have something light to keep yourself awake as you trugde through the piles and piles of homework.. (English tea would do as well but i prefer to leave out the sugar and creamy for the sake of my weight and tummy :P)

3. Do when everyone is asleep.. Well, that saves you from nonsensical irritation from your neighbours, traffic, pets, siblings, parents that are menopausing and all the other rubbish and vices you can think of.. So, the best is keep yourself immersed in the 'love' of mugging..

So, thats all as what i can offer to my dear friends out there that are as desperate as me, trying to finish all thats given to you.. Well, k'mon we all can make it..

first sunday of advent

2005-11-28T08:05:00.000-08:00

Well.. When to attend service at KKMC last sunday.. Hm... their service is quite similar to that of my church than i think it is.. Well.. At least they tell the congregation about the liturgical year at the liturgical colour of that season. Their creed is exactly word for word of ours.. I thought it would be modified. Oh well.. Despite attending 2 service and listening to the sermon twice, i still when for my church's last mass.. It helped me to appreciate the service at my church better.. No offence to anyone but its my personal preferrence. The readings were more in tune with the season of Advent.. Though all the readings of the sunday were related, i found the first reading most impactful on me. Just listening to the reading made me teared throughout the responsarial psalm, i had control of my emotions then. Despite the terrible singing of the soloist of course.

Here goes Is63:15-19,64:12

Look down fron heaven and see, from your holy abd glorious habitation.
Where are your zeal and your might?
The yearning of your heart and your compassion?
They are withheld from me.
For you are our father, though Abraham does not know us and Israel does not acknowledge us; you, O lord. are our father; our Redeemer from of old is your name.
Why, O Lord, do you make us stray from your ways and harden our heart so that we do not fear you?
Turn back for the sake of your servants, for the sake of the tribes that are your heritage.
Your holy people took possession for a little while; but now our adversaries have trampled down your sanctuary. We long have been like those whom you do not rule, like those not called by your name.
O that you would tear down the heavens and come down, so that the mountains would quake at your presence- as when fire kindles bruxhwood abd the fire causes water to boil- to make your name known to your adversaries, so that the nations might tremble at your presence!
When you did awesome deeds tht we did not expect, you came down, the mountains quaked at your presence.
From ages past no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who works for those who wait for him.
You meet those who gladly do right, those who remember you in your ways.
But you were angry, and we sinned; because you hid your self we transgressed.
We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a filthy cloth.
We all fade like a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away.
There is no one who calls on your name, or attempts to take hold of you; for you have hidden your face from us, and have delivered us into the hand of our iniquity.
Yet O lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of you hand.
Do not be exceedingly angry, O Lord, and do not remember your iniquity forever.
Now consider, we are all your people.
Your holy cities have becone a wilderness, Zion has become a wilderness, Jerusalem a desolation.
Our holy and beautiful house, where our ancestors praised you, has been burned by fire, and all our pleasant places have become ruins.
After all this, will you restrain yourself, O Lord?
Will you keep silent, and ounish us so severly?

Hm...... after this long long verse, i hope you all see the point of this verse. I felt as tho i was part of Israel's mourning for the longing of God. I have strayed so far away from God this past year. Pls do not be like me..

can you believe it??

2005-11-22T08:35:00.000-08:00

WAH!!!!! These few days at home really showed me how much i have or rather my parents have lapsed behind in terms of fashion sense and viewpoints.... Just had a debate with my dad abt what is the perfect haircut.. Seems like he is still into the old type of hair cut where sides are shaven and fringe are straight and there are no poking out things on my hair i.e(no spikes) sian... I just cant be bothered to listen to him.. Who is still rumbling behind me abt his hair cut experience now.. SiAN!!!! TMR is my free day at home.. YEAH!! can finally sleep late liao.. haha.. SIAN!!! i need to go out soon.. though i just went pepper lunch and swensens at orchard today.. haha..

After the eons and centuries..

2005-11-10T09:52:00.000-08:00

Haha.. am in Roy's house blogging since he had to send glenn and phillip home.. Staying over tonight= no need to get nagging from mum at 8 am in the morning tmr.. haha..

Well.. Had a few shots of vodka and whiskey just now.. Lol.. nearly died as we played stacko w choice of vodka or whiskey.. had a taste of both and they sux.. still prefer my wine.. lol..

Today PW finally over.. ROARS!!!! I HATE PW!!! after spending decades on my ppt slides finally i can kick those things aside and enjoy life now.. haha..
Will get black and white2, AOE3 and maybe quake4 during these hols and spend the hols completing them..

Sometimes in life, many things are out of our control and hence many times we are dragged into situations that are out of our control.. Will we get blamed for things like that because we did not even attempt to fight it or will we just get over it and lead life as normal? Is God someone that will do that or will he account all your sins to you on judgement day? Who then can be worthy of his judgement as sinless in that case?? Sigh.. Tmr maybe the 3rd time in a row not going for RCIY due to alot of committments.. David Charles is singing tmr and tenors are going as a section to support him.. Which means i have to skip classes again.. First time for GY, Second for Roy, Third for David C.When will i ever go there for myself and God?? Sigh.. Haha.. anyway.. have to get back to gaming liao.. Cya soon..

Well.... Those were the best days..

2005-10-16T18:54:00.000-07:00

Well... those were the best days.. Went out with my old catholic high friends for gym and lunch yesterday.. Never knew that how much i missed those days in cat high.. Just listening talking enthuly abt the old times, i felt as tho its one of those times we when out for lunch after hours of mugging in cat high.. Haven seen them in a while already.. Jackson is still the same old jackson.. Talking so much cok and always so enthu abt jap stuff.. Brian is still as blur as ever, JW looks more muscular than last time. Lol... I'm still myself.. Oh well.. Those were the best days.. After being in JC for so long.. Well, in JC cant really say that you know everyone.. Tho everyone is more maturely in general, there isnt this "innocence" in the sincerity to make genuine friends.. Even tho i did make genuine friends here, things are just more different.. Everyone seems to wear a mask.. (sort of) to disguise themselves.

Results out this week.. LOl.... Think i will die a horrible death... Cos my results always sucked.. haha...

Promos.. My doomsday..

2005-09-30T01:16:00.000-07:00

Looking ahead, it means like the cyclone is coming my way... I'm so not prepared yet.. haha.. the physics, chemistry and the maths are still so unacquainted to me.. Was doing the maths mock exams just now.. Was like.. Madam.. how to do this question. Oh.. Just do this, this, this, this and this. Then still quite in a shock. Huh??? what??? why???? haha.... seem like i am dying for maths.. Lol...

Then for physics.. Was with my teacher for consultation.. Made a stupid mistake.. Forgot some .5mv^2=mgh for a close system.. Then so like mumbling to myself... Omg.. So stupid.. TeACHER went: dont worry.. its normal.. Kenna jacked like mad... Lol....

Well, looking on the good side, i at least know how to shape a basic argument for both history essays.. Sigh... maybe thats the only fruit of my labour after these few weeks for studying.. The others are like just so crappy.

Anyway, its GP lesson now.. Teacher rite in front of me now.. Going thru summary skills... Lol...
Well, thats all folks.. Will update everyone again after promos.. I hope.. LOL..

magnificat

2005-09-22T16:58:00.000-07:00

my soul glorifies the lord.
my spirit rejoices in god my saviour
he looks on his servant in her nothingness
henceforth, all ages will call me blessed
the almighty works marvals on me
holy is his name
his mercies are from age to age to those who fear him.

This is the first half of the magnificat of mary. Which is in essence, why mary is known as the perfect disciple of Christ. How great is her faith to God and love for the world, so much that she did not even seek to fight the fact that her son has to die for the world's sin.

I seek to link this to my life, my faith has been treading on thin line as the devil has showered his "blessings" upon me.. I've been fighting hard to resist the temptations. All the playing and the tiredness of studying made me lose steam when i am studying.. sigh....

I not sure whatswrong but things are just not write.. Sometimes, i choose doing god's work instead of doing the devil's and i receive negative comments from people.. My hand is forced.. Quote from mr ngoei.. haha.. but back to the point.. I did that for the good of you people.. if you still think that you still need people to cover for your wrong doings, feel free to petition and replace me.. I am not happy being in his position anyway..

Lastly, YAY!! i am going overseas again this year end.. to China.. haha.. to Jiangnan.. Well, after studying Deng's extreme economic reform in China, jiangnan region has few destinated cities that are specialized in economic modernization.. I look forward to the robust city of Shanghai and Suzhou.. Hangzhou's well known West lake is a high light of the programme too.. haha.. Oh well.. haha..... looking forward to it...

value those around you..

2005-09-04T23:12:00.000-07:00

Really couldnt stand it.. Came here for a breathing space and to relieve myself of the emotions that took place just now... Well, the setting for this entry is my family background. For those who do not know, i am not very close to my family.. As in, except for official matters like money and exam grades, i pretty much do not talk to my parents.. Well, i'm closer to my sis than my parents, thats for sure.. Well, recently, i felt that i seem to have been very very cold towards my mum, like shouting to ask her to go away as she nags when i am playing.... Aiyah, basically i just dont like her to nag. When she does so, my innate response is to ask her to keep quiet. What happened just now was my mum was nagging to my sis abt this com. Ask her to disinfect this com, well, she's lazy and comes out with a dozen of reasons and ask her to bitch off.. This happened when i'm in the kitchen quietly eating my lunch.. Then she joined me and started tearing.. Well, i'm at loss then. Besides keep offering her food, i knew nothing to do... Now, i feel so damn.. Cos i didnt do what i had to do, which is console her..

Now, i start thinking abt the little sacrifices that she did for us.. Well, it seems like we should have treated her better.. I hope none of you reading this are like me.. Care for the ones that care for you the most in this world.. Afterall, they gave you life and brought you into this world.. Dont wait for things to happen and then learn and see their good and their meaning to you..

My preparation for promos

2005-08-22T18:13:00.000-07:00

37 days to my promotional exams... Well, time really flies.. Very soon, 1 year would have passed since i entered acjc. Looking back, this year is an enjoyable year compared to my sec 4 years. Many new friends were made, many lessons learnt, many hearts touched and much effort put in. The day which i received my ogl's call seem really like yesterday to me. Time really flies here.. Bidding goodbye to my dearest choir seniors and start preparing ourselves for caroling session and the welcoming of next year's J1. The incident of the Latvians at Prague still deeply touch my heart and certaintly confirms the ability of music being able to bridge all nationality and age gap. Although my results arent really good (actually quite bad) haha.. But i am putting in alot of effort to study now.. NO MORE DOTA TILL END OF PROMOS... haha.. Sorry dudes that are reading, cant play with you all now... After promos will go for dota marathon k?? haha..

Well, this will be my last time blogging in quite a while as i prepare for DOOMSDAY!!! haha... Hope to bring good news next time.. SEe ya..

Class chalet

2005-08-10T01:13:00.001-07:00

FINALLY!!! the chalet is over.
After the planning and all the rubbish and i finally and say that all the planning has gave rise to what has happened yesterday. well, it things went wrong and right.. Lots of lesson for the ultimate planner (me) to learn abt organising such an event. Afterall, the last time when i did bbq in cat high choir, had denis and my other fellow com members to help plan had the ability to divide and conquer. This time is a solo show with some help from cheryl, cindy and qinyi. the funds were just not enough, the place is too small, but after all, i think it bonded some of the class members together, tho not all, well, at least i tried for the class..

My dusty blog

2005-08-04T17:26:00.000-07:00

"Chokes on dust" as i made my way to read my blog.. Its been quite a long time since i've blogged. Well, mundaint things are increasing and the interesting things of life are rapidly decreasing at an alarming rate, in addition to the great inertia i now experience, especially with the heavy amount of work and pressure school work is piling on.

Nevertheless, i still find time to lead a life outside school. Watched mindhunter with jo that day. Its a exceptionally good movie. it has a better plot than "the village". Well, i shamefully admit that i was quite scared at points of time during the movie, besides having to endure the artificial atmosphere made by jo's nudging and screams from behind.. haha..

Well, morning ensemble just started for me.. Me, knowing myself, always reach school punctually at 7 everyday, its quite a new experience for me. Afterall, i have to live with the fact that i will have to stand on stage with my fellow choir mates to lead the school in patriotic anthems.

Yeah!! national day is coming up.. It means that i have a 5 day holiday with a mini commitment on mon cos of the Istana performance. Well, really looking forward to my class chalet i have painstakingly put together. Feel so stressed when everyone is just looking at you when things tend to go wrong.. Well, glad that the planning has all been done.....

Thats all folks

Stressed.....!!!!

2005-07-14T17:51:00.000-07:00

Haha... Went back to Cat high yesterday to bid them farewell before their festival today in CHINA!!!! Muahahahaha.... Well, its been so long since i've seen all my cat high juniors and teachers. Tho i didnt see any teachers cos they alll left so early, but its still quite fun to see my juniors kegan my grand grand grand juniors. Well, they need to find their voice before they even talk about placement and pitching. Talk to clement wu, well, its been so long since i've talk to my senior batch, secretary of year 2002, my precessor. He is RJC and I'm in ACJC.. See, thats the problem when we start arguing over the recent nationals and our repective golds and silvers that we got. ARGH!!! haahaa.. its quite fun really...

Started planning for the class chalet and well, quite terrible... Admin and logistic nightmare!!! haha... Oh well... Should be out dotaing again.. haha..

A poignant reflection about my day

2005-07-12T03:43:00.000-07:00

The day was terrible.. Filled with teachers trying to convince that we need to place more emphasis on their subjects. Maths, Physics, Chemistry and History. Every teacher is just as demanding as the other. GP wasnt as relaxed. Tho i did well in comparison to the rest of my batchmates, EEFO isnt exactly a very good report to boast abt.

Moreover, my classmates dont seem very affected by their results. SPA is just 2 weeks away yet pple are joking and playing in lab. Maths lesson is just as disappointing. More than half the class did not do their tutorials yet i'm pushing myself so hard. Staying back in school to finish my homework and waking up in wee hours to finish my tutorials and making sure i'm a acceptable example for them to follow.

an extremely impt sharing!!

2005-07-03T22:45:00.000-07:00

For pleasure that has been chosen against God's law and symbolized by Adam and Eve who tasted the forbidden fruit, God has allowed pain and death to follow, more as a remedy than as a punishment.
God did this so that, in following his unbridled egoism and instinct, man would not destroy himself and his neighbor completely. (Today with drugs and the consequences of certain sexual disorders, we see how it is possible to destroy one's own life for the pleasure of an instant!) So we see that suffering is attached to pleasure as a shadow.
What should one do then? It is not about seeking suffering, but about accepting with renewed courage the suffering that exists in life.
We can approach the cross the way the sail does the wind. If the wind catches the sail on the appropriate side, the sail fills up and the wind carries the boat over the waves. If, however, the sail tangled, the wind breaks the mast and everything capsizes. Well carried, the cross leads us forward; badly carried, it crushes us.

I'm back!!!

2005-06-26T23:33:00.000-07:00

HAHA!! I'm back... Once again...

Well, my first entry since choir toured prague and london.. Well, pretty fun and enriching.. Got to know lots of people better, like alunmi that i have never seen before.. haha.. Just for update, in prague, we got 3 golds, won two category winner.. Yup, so thats that..

Hm... i'm blogging after my GP terms exam.. Still have 4 more papers to go and I'm a free man.. haha. Dunno izzit i too stress, headache come, ezemia act up, having slight indigestion.. Sigh... Code from david charles:" Ezemic asthmatic conditions are those things that you cannot get excused for.. But it make your life miserable, especially in Army!!!" Got my army enlistment thingy already.. Have to register online.. Oh well.. Haha..

See you soon folks..

The problem with me????

2005-05-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

Well, just that this week is kinda funny... Normally i dun blog that often... haha..
Emotions are just so crammed up in me that i needed somewhere to let loose.. Not mentioning where it came from but just that i feel lots of disappointment, sadness and anger this entire week.. Not really a very smooth sailing week for me.. Pretty fucked up actually...

Sometimes, i feel that being God's people is just so tiring.. There are so many things that are bound by my conscience and by my own soul. Rather, these things just separate people from me. Few that i know are able to connect with that spiritual self of mine. Feeling alittle lonely though i constantly remind myself that I have Christ with me.. At least someone of the same faith can act as a external reminder for me that i am not persecuted for the kingdom alone but there are others doing the exact penance as me.. So tired... Seems like being a Catholic is the most demanding christianity spiritually.. At least the others didnt have such a sophisticated view of God.. God is more than just someone i turn to for favour, more than someone that i praise for all my achievements, more than someone that i turn refuge to whenever i am hurt, more than someone that i fear as i want eternal happiness.. He dwells within me and is part of me.. That part of me that i want to embrace fully, but find it so difficult to.. Its so difficult to do the exact things that Christ instructed us to do so..

Anyway, flying off to London next friday for choral tour.. Wish me luck..

busy life

2005-05-19T05:48:00.000-07:00

Well, i got to admit what all my seniors told me about JC life when i was in sec 4. Its very very busy.. Ten more minutes to my bedtime and then waking up at 3 plus to finish all my unfinished homework and tutorials.. Sigh.. Next week is concert and then would be flying off to London and Czech already.. After that, the first major test of my JC life, MY FIRST TERM EXAMS!!!!!! ARGH!!!!

Haha.. After attending the class rep briefing, found out that it means more than just a adminstrator of the class.. Haha.. Well, have quite a vision for my class which i will be sharing during contact time on monday. Really look forward to all the exciting stuffs of my future JC life then i have to embrace the crude and hard army life.. Haha..

I love my life, but i hate being me..

2005-04-17T07:37:00.000-07:00

Just came back from RJ chorale concert.. Well, it was an enriching performance.. Shant comment too much.. Gossips will fly around the air..

I love my life but i hate being me.. Just realized how much an asshole i was.. Usually, the two extreme ends of people around me are one who hate me so much, while the others are the ok type.. But what the heck.. I really dont care.. I am who i am.. Like it or not.. CAnt really be bothered.. Tired of being ordered around, with gossips flying around in the air..

Tomorrow having performance at esplanade concourse.. 4 out of 6 songs still not memorised.. HAve to work double hard to get it done later... Hope everything will be fine tmr.. Nothing stupid will happen.. No stupid people will sabotage me/us..

Being in God's infinite perfect presence.. Reallly ashamed of the sinful and imperfect side of me.. He is the one who knows me the best.. In front of him, i need not wear a mask like i do in front if others.. God pls help me.....

happy birthday to me!!

2005-04-16T08:11:00.000-07:00

HAHa... Today is my birthday...
This week.... quite memorable...
Tuesday- kenna dao pok by the tenors
Friday- kenna stripped by my classmates
Saturday- almost kenna stripped by choir mates

Come on.. Although i spent my birthday in quite a sad one in the eyes of many.. Which is 8-6 choir prac.. But i rather enjoyed it.. At least cleared alot of songs for syf. overseas competition and evening with friends concert.. BTW. anyone that wants tix can tag at my board.. Priced at 17, 21 and 27 dollars.. Its on the 23 may(Vesak day) at esplanade concert hall.. haha..

JC life is very tough for me.. Well.. literally have no life.. Cant even have one decent day to go out with my friends or do something for myself or spend some quality life with my families or catch up on my studies.. Well.. that would be like that for me for the next 2 years..
COME ON DUDE!!! GET USED TO IT!!!

why does a day only has 24 hours??

2005-02-12T18:07:00.000-08:00

Good question... Why does a day only has 24 hours.. Why cant it be 48?? school is so freaking long and teachers are piling tutorials down my throat.. Deadlines are closing in and i find myself going for DC sooner or later.. Why again, i cant neglect my life... Still have to find time to hang out with friends, gamble(play majong), surf net and slack...

Litzy posed me a good question too.. I have so heck care abt speading the word of God to others around me, even avoiding arguement with those christians around me regarding my faith... My reason was there's no point debating because when you die, the truth will be staring right at your face.. But she said that i'll be selfish because i did not spread the salvation to others and instead made them suffer in purgotory.. But seriously, no matter what religion you are, as long as you are holy and have a charitable heart, you will go to heaven... Therefore, maybe i just answered my own doubts.. :D

Oh lord, thank you for the gift of suffering..

2005-02-07T05:49:00.000-08:00

Today, ponned school.. haha.. first time.. well.. haha.... But i had an mc, so its not.. But sorry if i hurt you alvin, i didnt meant to pon your class.. haha..

Went for a medical check-up today.. Well, got a tmc(temporary mc).. for six weeks because of my skin.. Hm... doctor said that it was heditary and was linked to my asthma and sensitive nose.. Well, wth.. Dun care lah.. haha..

Prayer:
Thank you lord for the gift of suffering..
I pray that your gift is given to all around me.
I lift up my sufferings for those i love and hold dear to my heart..
In all my frustrations and inconvience, may i know that i am suffering for the welfare of those around me..
Lord, please help me to make you at the centre of my life.
May I be your tool for glorifying your kingdom..
Jesus, Mary I love you..
Please guide me wherever i go..
Amen..

so sian.....

2005-01-22T22:46:00.000-08:00

Bloody hell... damn sian now... have piles of tutorials waiting for me to do.... sian.. Just printed out the 8000 word long telegramn of Kanan and desperately trying to understand what the previous ambassador of USSR said to Truman to spark the cold war which pretty much lasted for abt 45 years.. ARGH!!!!! interesting as history is, it sucks cos i have to write two essays a week.. One on cold war and the other SEA history.. All those divine kingship and colonial rubbish.. haha..

This weekend is a eventful one and i enjoyed it.. haha.. Well, 1sb3 finally had a chance to have sji(senior, junior interaction). haha.. Went to one of the senior's house for party.. Pardon me, i forgot your name.. Haha.. i am bad with names.. Well, we played truth, dare and double dare.. haha.. Poor roy got sabotaged like siao.. I still have the amazing video of you using tommie as the pole for pole dancing..:p
Then we had a hair do with stuffs such as fish sauce, eggs and flour on our hair.. haha.. That includes the girls.. Guess what?? they are still complaining of the smell.. haha...

After that, i got dunked like 4 times into the pool... Well, thats the result of being such a nonsensical class rep that likes to sabotage and talk cok.. haha..
Had choir practice with the other choir conductor mrs wilson.. (hope i spell correctly). She's a very nice person and a very good conductor.. Learnt alot from her as well as had alot of fun during her practice tho i was late.. haha.. Sorry seniors.. That would be the last time.. haha.. Look forward to working with her again next saturday..

Funky fun..

2005-01-15T21:52:00.000-08:00

Haha... I passed the choir auditions... haha... But was quite shocked that i am a tenor 1 in the choir.. That means that i have to strain like hell when i sing those super high notes during choir... Bad.. haha.. But well, its challenging for me, so i kind of like the new challenge.. haha...

Had RCIY class last friday.. Was quite interesting actually.. Not like anyone of my catholic friends that described the catechism class actually.. What happened on friday was that everyone reintroduced themselves because pple like me were not around during the first lesson.. haha. Besides introducing the entire hierachy system of the catholic church, its basically abt father gerard talking about how good the steam fish was when he attended one of our classmate brother's birthday party.. haha..

Hm.... tmr having trials for hockey... hope i get into the first team... Tho second one is also ok cause choir's my first cca.. hockey's just for fun... haha....

Yesterday had such great fun during raneth outing... haha.. ate at cartel.. Well, had a lame debate abt how to pronounce the word "steak".. haha.. Then played arcade.. haha.. played the drum game first... haha.. lost to chance but beat daryl.. then was dance revolution... Had alot of fun stepping on those machines.. haha... Then was the arcade fighting.. haha... the marvel heroes vs capcom.. well... first round thrashed Kai sin.. then lost two rounds to chance.. But finally wining with my super projectile combi= doctor doom+ cable + omega red.. haha... Played space hockey as well.. wining kaisin and chance with victory 14:10.. haha... what an eventful day...

Lord, today we thank you, for all that you have done..
For earth and sky for air we breathe, stars and morning sun..
For friends and for families, for memories that we share..
For growing daily in your love and in your watchful care..
And for those special moments, those time when we recalled,
a father's guiding presence, a mother's gentle call,
the laugher and the singing, the teaching of your ways,
the quiet times together, that taught us how to pray..

Though the years go by too quickly, and our lifes are rearranged..
Still the lessons learnt in childhood, would always stay the same..
The sacred love God gave us, his grace to us bestowed..
Those special moments in our lives with those who loved us so..

And for those special moments, those times that we recalled..
A father's guiding presence, a mother's gentle call..
The laugher and the singing, the teaching of your ways..
Those quiet times together, that taught us how to pray..

- Special moments

This song keeps ringing in my head in this entire week.. hope to share it with you guys.. Thank the lord for his love and grace..

-Evans Zechaeuus

Today..

2005-01-12T20:10:00.000-08:00

Haha... Had auditions on Mon.. The conductor was so strict, test me so many stuff.. Played a few atonal scales which i almost couldnt pitch to, but i still managed.. Played a number of atonal chords and ask me to identify the middle note.. Got a few wrong, but i guess it should be ok.. Haha... I also didnt know if i can make if ornt.. Maybe yes, maybe no.. Joining hockey too, haha but only as recreational cca, not competitive...

Bloddy gay lynn caught me for my hair.. Haha.. i had to cut my fringe myself, but everyone said there was no diff with my hair from before. so, haha, i still win..

See you..

acjc orientation

2005-01-07T08:27:00.000-08:00

Wow... its been like one week since i blogged.. Acjc is so damn fun... Teraku rocks, raneth rocks... haha... My calvalon and og names... haha...

The games that we played at the games are so fun.. Got dirtied by stuffs like starch(cum), mud, egg, flour, water, soap and some other stuffs... haha... But nevertheless, we had a great deal of fun.. haha...

Made alot of new friends too.. haha... Guess what, in my new class, i'm nominated class rep... Haha.. quite interesting post, given the fact that i gave delin and jeremy such a hard time in sec school when they were chair and vice-chair of the class.. haha... Its my turn now...

Hope that my stay in Acjc will be a memorable one and hopefully if its God will too, i'll find a good reason to stay behind...... Cya folks...

Acsian Evans

Looking back

2005-01-01T07:20:00.000-08:00

Looking back at the last year, seems like the premonition that i had last year on the 1st on January was so damn accurate, that i am going to suffer like hell last year, which is true...
But this is to my friends: Although many things have happened last year that are not convenient to mention here, i am still lucky that i have many friends with me.. From the the hokkaido trip to class chalet to the many pool and gym sessions that i had, i realized that friends are the only source of strength i had after i had exhausted strength i had drawn from God.. I feel blessed indeed.. i will miss you 4-7, for you are the best thing that happened to me this 2004...

Come on devil....

2004-12-26T03:56:00.000-08:00

This is to the devil... I dare you to take on me. I am strong enough to withstand whatever temptations and hardship that you're going to throw at my face. I am not going to give in to you for I cannot let down my Lord.. I know that at the end during judgement, it is not you who judge but the most high. I fear no adversities that come my way from you for I love my Lord.. Jesus could be stripped of everything when he died on the cross for us.. I can be stripped of everything too, for his sake..

Its just a sharing that i wish to share with everyone.. I have faced tribulations from the devil day after day. It seems like the devil is tempting me in everyway possible to let me give up my faith but i tell you now, its not going to work..

Another week to school and i am looking forward to it...

Quote from the angel of death....

2004-12-19T22:28:00.000-08:00

Well, a quote from the angel of death while watching a show.. Death is the reason one lives... How true is it?? Until now i cant find any reason to disprove that statement.. No matter religious ornt, its true.. Hm.... seems like these shows arent so meaningless after all.. Haha... The next time those Baptist scholars come knocking at my down for a debate, i'll be ready for you...

Today, i have decided to be a good son and stay at home to keep my mum company, after being out everyday for the last two weeks.. haha... But at night still going to esplanade to see ACJC choir caroling due to invitation from joanne.. haha.. Still apprehensive if i should join choir.. My singing is not exactly fantastic anyway...

thats all folks...

My life?? Pretty screwed i see....

2004-12-18T08:24:00.000-08:00

What the fucking hell nice way to start my blog... Hm... Not exactly in the best mood to speak nicely to pple here actually.. If you dun like the way i speak, too bad... This blog is not meant for you to come.. Pretty sad that misunderstandings occur just due to the fact that pple dun bother to find out the truth.. Hope this can solve the doubts of seniors who pop by, hoping to get an answer out of my choice of school.. Given the fact that more than the first five seniors have expressed shocked by my decision to join the ACJC..

Firstly, my first choice is VJC, but my results are too sucky to get in anyway, so, cant... Fullstop..
Second, i did attempt to contact for the seniors like josh, ben and jian hao for help into vjc., but josh didnt reply at all, ben told me the date and time of the audi after the audi, which is like useless unless i have a time portal.. Called jian hao and got to the audi only to find out that it is only for caroling audition.. Sad... At the twist of fate, i cannot get there.. Maybe after my first three months..

To all people out there... I hope that if you're not happy with the way i conduct myself, pls spit everything out at me when you have the chance to.. I will not be pissed but be thankful that i have something to work on to better myself.. Instead of me guessing where have i done wrong.. Do so if you're a real friend of mine, if not, FUCK OFF!!!!!

Pardon me if words of this blog is NC16.. But i really need to get it out of me...

Depressed?? Maybe?? Let God lead me...

2004-12-16T06:43:00.000-08:00

Well, tmr is the day of the release of the PAE results...
AGRH!!!!!
How?? Damn scared.. Aiyah, anyway i already know where i'm going to already.. Given my prelims results, how can go into VJC?? Hm... Though Mr Kwei did agreed to help me, didnt want his help in the end... Wanna get in by my own ability.. Missed both auditions arranged by the music com there :p..

Today was a day of pooling as well.. Hm... Its quite addictive... As in playing pool.... Haha... Jeremy and I group against couple group Brian and Aloy.. Well, tied with them 2-2... Quite fun...

Well, thats all for today.. Short blogging.. Cya folks..

Blade trinity..

2004-12-14T22:51:00.000-08:00

Well, watched blade trinity with samuel, nicole and my sis yesterday.. Quite a nice film actually, except that its NC16, so, sorry for dudes who arent 16.. You must be wondering how nicole managed to sneak in right?? Given the fact that even if she IS 16, she still looks like she's twelve, haha... All thanks to be and Samuel, well, we were with her, so hm... maybe boosted the maturity of her?? hm..... well, haha... But the funny thing is, my older sis, which is like going 20 already, the guy still asks for her IC.. Well, it shows how immatured she looks.... haha.. Sorry dude, have to suan you here.. haha..

Was up with Nicole online till 5 just now.. quite fun.. Counting, we have like played online pool for abt 4 hours.. Way it go, though no matter izzit in real pool or online pool, i still lost.. haha.. dunno why the black ball always like to pick on me.. either that or the white ball will piss me off.. because either the black ball went into the wrong hole, or the white ball went in with it... Had a score of 10-5... luckily not 8-nil.. or else they are going to suan me again.. haha...

Suddenly realized how much i had backslided regarding my piano playing... Was actually trying out songs and then realized that how stiff my fingers are... I mean this is the first time i actuallly sat down and played songs in the previous 3 months due to Os.. Haha.. Mrs Tan was already complaining that i have backslided quite a bit for my Bach's prelude no.3, bk1.. Well, i rebuked by saying that i actually had no standard to backslide.. Haha.. She nearly knocked my head off by saying that i will be insulting her then.. Oh well, haha.. But hey, my playing compared to April period is like 3:10 or something like that... haha...

Nicole and Rachel are in HK as i am typing this blog.. Well dudes, if you happen to read this blog, send my regards to your parents for me, enjoy yourself and bring lots of present back k?? haha...

Well, thats all for today, Gotta get ready for lesson or else Mrs Tan will skin me alive without any theory done for the past 2 weeks.. haha.. Cya dudes..

W.T.F... How could this happen????

2004-12-13T05:11:00.000-08:00

I'm telling you, my muscles aches like hell... Oh haha... Nvm, i asked for it anyway... When for Gym on Saturday to like get my body to work before rust starts developing again in my joints, but its like more than 6 months since i last exercised vigorously, due to my stupid asthma.. Well, it seems like my joints are more stiff than before.. haha..... Dude, come on, you got to stop whining like a cat.... Haha....

Played pool with Samuel today.. Kenna trashed 8-nil.... Thats bad... Cos like 3 games the black ball hit went into the wrong hole, so 3 games gave to him... Terrible.... Haha.... NVM!! Then we played international chess.. haha.. Dude, you have to be more careful next time... haha.. Well, glad to know that my new friend can learn quickly.. Cos he's like getting better after every round.. Well, but i still trash him 4-nil... But i do see a potential good opponent coming up... Keep it up dude.. haha..

Had dinner with his parents today.. Didnt know that his parents are so fun... haha.. Joked while eating.. Haha.. Well, must play majong with them one day... haha....

Well, for spiritual stuffs now.... Was reflecting words in the song "sherpard of my soul"...

Sherpard of my soul, i give you full control.
wherever you may lead, i will follow.
I have made the choice, to listen to your voice, wherever you may lead, i will go.
Be it in the quiet pasture, or by the gentle stream,
the sherpard of my soul will be my guide.
Should i face the almighty mountains or a valley dark and deep,
The sherpard of my soul will be my guide.

Am i really like Mary or other saints, allowing God to exercise full control in my life? It seems like i love this song alot but i cant really do the things tat i sang.. i mean, its like i've been so caught up with my own activities and i've neglected what i needed most, prayer and reflection time.. Ever since i came back from Japan, i've been like going out with pple and having activities, i only realize how poorly nourished my soul is today, when i was on a quiet bus, looking at the trees around, my soul starts calling for help.. Listen to me.. Dun treat me as non-existant anymore.. You're falling into sin again... I was suppose to be in Japan reflecting at the wisdom of the nature that stood for millions of years, to find my next vocation for the next phrase of my life.. But instead, i made friends and had lots of fun there.. Well, seems like this Christmas is the last time i have in this year to reflect upon myself...

Ok... cya dudes.. gotta go..

Boring Friday night!!!

2004-12-10T05:59:00.000-08:00

Hm.... to many who are concerned, friday night a time many look forward to. But for me, friday night is sometimes the time i love, but sometimes dread.. Well, like today, the house is empty.. Parents went pubbing, sis went out dating, left this poor little me at home blogging. Haha..
Usually dread having my sis or parents at home, but normally when i'm home alone, i kindof miss their company.. Haha.. what an irony..

Well, i am writing Christmas cards to my good friends, to cure me of my boredom.. Something that i have to do, but actually quite tiring to do.. Well, though i'm good with mushy stuffs,(haha) but well, writing them down seems not the right thing to do.. Oh wells..

If God is standing next to me, i would like to ask him something.. Why is it that people with faith like mine is so hard to associate with people, always looking at things from a different angle from people.. Is it that a person that is pure in heart who regonises what the earth does as sins have to join them as well. I;m quite tired of rejecting sins and temptations one after another.. Devil, are you so determined to see me fall?? SO sick...

Well, signed up as a volunteer counsellor for troubled teens at the volunteer associations when they approached me last few weeks.. Dun ask me why.. besides having CIP hours, it seems like a vocation for me... To reach out to those who need my help.. Hope that i dun mess things up for them..

Oh well, thats all folks..

Spiritual sharing

2004-12-08T05:32:00.000-08:00

Joanna made a good choice giving me this book... Its fabulous..

Name: No wonder they call him the saviour
by: Max Lucado

This chapter is called the cry for loneiness.. Sorry for none christian folks, this would get kind of religious, so please pardon me..

Loneliness
Its a cry. A moan, a wail. Its a gasp whose origin is the recesses of our soul.
Can you hear it? The abandoned child. The divorcee. The quiet home. The empty mailbox. The long days, the longer nights. A one-night stand. A forgotten birthday. A silent phone.

When it begin? In your childhood? At the divorce? At the retirement? At the cemetery? When the kids left home?

May be you have fooled everyone. No one knows that you're lonely. On the outside you're packaged perfecly. Your smile is quick. Your job is stable. Your clothes are sharp. Your waist is thin. Your calendar is full. You walk brisk. Your talk impressive. But when you look in the mirror, you fool no one. When you are alone, the duplicity ceases and the pain surfaces.

Or maybe you don't try to hide it. Maybe you have always been outside the circle looking in, and everyone knows it. Your conversation is a bit awkward. Your companionship is seldom requested. Your clothes are dull. Your looks are common. Ziggy is your hero and Charlie Brown is your mentor.

Am i striking a chord? If i am, if you have nodded or sighed in understanding, I have an important message for you.. The most gut wrenching cry of loneliness in history came not from a prisoner but or a widow or a patient. It came from a hill, from a hill, from a Messiah.

"My God, My God," he screamed, "why have you forsaken me!" Never have words carried so much hurt. Never has one thing been so lonely.

On Skull's hill, the sinbearer is alone. Every lie ever told, every object ever coveted, every promise ever broken is on his shoulder. He is sin.

God turns away. "Run, goat! Run!"
The dispair is darker than the sky. The two who have been one are now two. Jesus, who had been with God for eternity, is now alone. The Christ, who was an expression of God, is abandoned. The trinity is dismantled. The Godhead is disjointed and The unity is dissolved.

It was more than what Jesus could take. He withstood the beatings and remained strong at the mock trials. He watched in silence as those he loved ran away. He did not retaliate when the insults were hurled nor did he scream when the nails pierced his wrists. But when God turned his head, that was more than he could handle.

Therefore, the message i would like to bring to everyone reading this is, no matter how lonely you are, remembered that Christ suffered a fate far worse off than what you actually have, for the almighty father has abandoned him, but he has not abandoned us... Therefore, when we are tired and lonely of carrying the crosses of our daily life, just lift your head and look at the clouds.. For somewhere beyond there, Jesus is watching and giving the graces you need to carry your cross.

Hokkaido ROCKS!!

2004-12-06T04:18:00.000-08:00

Welcome, everyone to my new created blog.... Diaryland is giving me some problems, so i have decided to switch to blogspot.. haha...

Hokkaido is the most northern island of japan and is one of the four major island of japan... This is the first time i went there and it left me with an unforgettable experience.. All the snow, seafood and culture there is just so remarkale and different from singapore.. The seafood is so fabulous that i am not taking any seafood for the next one or two weeks...
Well, just imagine that i took seafood for consecutively 4 days for every meal... Its quite torturing... haha.... they are well known for their crabs at this season, but the sad thing is that i cant eat crab cos i am allergic to it.. haha..... Snowing is real fun and we played a few rounds of snowball war.... haha....

Besides having so many splendid external factors adding to my joy, i made many friends there.. They came with their family and relatives to the tour group with us too.. They include Angeline, bengi, clarence, nicole, rachel, my handsome son samuel, edwin, sharry, yan xin and a small little dude... haha... they spice up things on the tour.. without them. tour would be quite boring.. haha.. For the last three nights, we spent time knowing each other and playing games like dai dee, polar bear, truth or dare and chatting to know one another better... haha.. Great friends..

Next is for me to plan my holidays for the rest of my holidays... haha.. that would be start practicing my piano and theory formy coming exams.... Firstly would be my grade 8 theory exam in March folllowed by my ALCM theory exam in April and last but not least my LLCM in August.... haha.. Really stressed for these freaking exams.. i mean, its tiring preparing for it.. Anyway, these would be my last few exams for piano... haha...
I wanna get darker and stronger.... I mean, i haven been really exercising this entire year due to my pathetic asthma frequent visit... Must kick off that...
Alrite... thats all folks.. Will update you again....